MEDIATION FOR WILL DISPUTES – PROBATE

Posted on March 10, 2014 by cathy

All families have disputes, but when they concern a Will, (Probate) whether it be a mother’s, father’s, or siblings, etc. it can lead to a lot of anomosity and can be very stressful and expensive if it involves litigation.   The Cohabitation Act 2010 has now “added to the mix”. In a situation where a person who has made a Will and left everything, including their home to family members, and makes no mention of a partner who has been sharing the Deceased’s home for many years, at the very least this can lead to lengthy delays and expensive (if litigation is involved) before the house can be sold.  Mediation is an ideal tool to resolve this type of  situation as it gives each side a chance to tell their story and at the end the aim is for all sides to reach a win-win situation.

 

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Mediation and Enduring Power of Attorney Problems that may arise

Posted on March 2, 2014 by cathy

A lot of Enduring Power of Attorneys never need to be put into use as the people who make them are well able to look after their own affairs until the date of their death.  It is when the person who made the Enduring Power of Attorney (EPA) can no longer look after their affairs that the attorney(s) take over.  Issues can arise when attorneys are looking after a person’s affairs and www.drewmcgannmediation.ie have found that mediation (which is non-judgmental and independent) can be a very useful and inexpensive tool in helping to solve any issues that may arise.  It allows each side to tell their story and hear the other person(s) views and lead to a win-win situation on both sides.  Issues can arise in situations where the mother or father always gave sums of money to each grandchildren or their own children on their birthday, or Christmas.  Now that they are unable to look after their own affairs the attorney, (who may be the daughter or son, niece, nephew) wants to continue the habit of giving the grandchildren and other family members monetary presents on their parents behalf.  Other members of the family may feel this is totally inappropriate and the elder persons money should be kept intact.  This is the type of issue which is very suitable for mediation.

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PLEASURE OF GETTING A WAVE HELLO RETURNED

Posted on December 18, 2013 by cathy

On a recent trip to India we travelled around in a bus clearly marked “Tourist”.  One of my lasting impressions is the amount of people, young and old, who waved to us with a beautiful smile and the feel- good effect this had on me.

Since my return, I have found myself waving to people who are on the other side of the road, or travelling by car, many of whom I do not know. I get great enjoyment when I receive a wave back in return.  I started to think of the therapeutic benefits of waving.  In Bob McAlister’s article in the Banbridge Review, which states that the simple act of waving creates a sense of connection. see http://www.bainbridgereview.com/opinion/120421369.html

He writes about an experiment by five of his students, who found that if they smiled before they waved they received a better response.  They all spoke of “the pleasure in getting a wave returned. “

He writes that as a result of their simple act of waving hello “finding community in a world of strangers” and …..it broadens our connection to other cultures and other people, which includes our neighbours.”  So one souvenir from India that I will use is the act of waving to say hello and like the Indian people we met will smile before I wave.

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Death of William Glasser – Master Therapist

Posted on December 3, 2013 by cathy

Dr William Glasser passed away peacefully in August this year.  The reality therapy he developed has been very helpful for many of my clients as it is focused on the present.  The BPS Psychologist Magazine Vol 26 No. 12 (page 850) describe his therapy very well when they state that the therapy is “based on his contention that a vast array of mental health disorders, behavioural problems was caused or exacerbated by the person’s continued failure and sustained frustration in being unable to meet their essential and innate human needs, and particularly the needs of love and belonging and self-worth”.

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Arbitration 1527

Posted on October 24, 2013 by cathy

There is a very good exhibition in City Hall at the moment called “The Story of the Capital”.  As a mediator, it was interesting to read about an arbitration which occurred in 1527 concerning, among other things, the ordering of the water from the Dodder coming into the city. This is covered in a book called History of the City of Dublin: From the Earliest Accounts Vol. 1 By John Warburton, James Whitelaw, Robert Walsh.

I am sure a lot of people think Mediation\Arbitration is a recent occurrence, when in fact it has a very long history

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Counselling Children and Adolescents

Posted on July 22, 2013 by cathy

“When we love children, we spend time admiring them and caring for them.  We give them our time.  Good discipline requires time.” M. Scott Peck – page 12 The Road Less Travelled  (2006)  All of us parents of adult children know how quickly they grow up, and the time spent with them when they are young will pay dividends when they are adolescents.  If extended family members are aware that a child’s parents are not spending time them with them, for whatever reason, it is good if they can do so.  As a counsellor working with children and adolescents, it is great to hear about extended family members making time for them, trying to guide them and meeting their love and belonging need.

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Culturally appropriate therapeutic interventions

Posted on June 29, 2013 by cathy

When a person is worried, or anxious, about a problem they may turn to counselling in order to talk about their problem in a safe, supportive, non-judgemental and confidential environment.  There are a range of counselling models available.  What I find most helpful with clients is Carl Rogers’ Personal Centred Counselling (PCC) model, showing unconditional positive regard, congruence, empathy and being non-judgemental, with its main belief that the client has an innate ability to know what is best for them. Using this model a person may discover their strengths, move toward finding their own answers.

 

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Coparenting conflict, non-acceptance and depression among divorced adults

Posted on June 4, 2013 by cathy

It was interested to read in this article by Sbarra et al (2005) http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC2964496/

that “compared with parents who litigated their custody disputes, participants who mediated their settlements reported significantly more feelings of longing for their ex-partner and feeling like the separation was a mistake at the 12-year follow-up.” The authors give various reasons for this.  One is the role of mediation in fostering good relationships between the couple, and the fact that mediation enables couples to work together, and as a result they may wonder why they ever separated.  On the other hand, they suggest that litigation results in such bad feelings between the couple that they are more able to accept the separation.

If there are no children it is easy for both parties to “airbrush” one another out of their lives, but when there are children, it is important that they can remain on good terms as there are so many occasions they will be meeting up, such as Christenings, weddings and funerals.

 

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Counselling for People with Dementia and their Carers

Posted on May 21, 2013 by cathy

Although many people with dementia are not given the opportunity to receive professional counselling, the person-centred counselling approach has been found to enable them to make sense of their lives.

It is very difficult for a spouse when their loved one with dementia does not recognise them, and yet can remember the name of a neighbour.  A recent study called “The experiences of therapy from the perspectives of carers of people with dementia: An exploratory study“by R Elvish, R Cawley, J Keady – Counselling and Psychotherapy …, 2013 – Taylor & Francis looked at counselling for carers.    This study found that attending counselling and/or psychotherapy helped the carer to find a ‘safe space’ to disclose and share concerns

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Mediation for Family Conflicts – Carers

Posted on February 3, 2013 by cathy

When people think of family dispute mediation, they may assume it is only refers to disputes between separating couples, involving maintenance, child access etc.   Some people are surprised that mediation can also be used to resolve disputes around caring for a family member.    The following website gives advice for carers about family conflict and also suggests counselling if caring is causing mental and physical stress.

http://www.nhs.uk/CarersDirect/yourself/relationships/Pages/Dealing-with-conflict.aspx

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